The US Senate is Losing a Crapweasel

What a shame.

I mean, what a shame that the US Senate is only losing one crapweasel.

I started to watch what probably turned out to be Robert Crapweasel Torricelli's "I'm not running for re-election even though the election is only weeks away" speech and, probably, his "I am quitting the Senate right now too" speech.

I couldn't stomach any more of his speech. After portraying himself as a combination of Moses and Jesus Christ — well... okay... I exaggerate. But I did almost bust a gut when he bragged about the senior citizens' center he "helped to build".

I hope he didn't sprain his back with that heavy construction labor.

And I really can't understand how he didn't fall apart right in front of us on the teevee screen: any normal human being would have cracked his spine and dislocated both shoulders, patting himself on the back so furiously at such length.

What I want to know is this: what did it take to get him to get out of the race, and (apparently, as I write) out of the Senate pronto? Of course, we know he is doing this because his Republican opponent was zillions of light years ahead of The Crapweasel in the polling. Even among Democrats, I understand.

My first thought was The Lid Is About To Blow Sky High. Maybe he skedaddled to keep that from happening. (Yes, I am talking blackmail here, folks.) But, after some reflection, it seems much more likely to me that a bribe — a gigantic, humungous, enormous bribe — got him out of the way.

There's a Pulitzer Prize waiting, I say, for the intrepid reporter who finds out what has really been going on with Torricelli and the state and national Democrat leadership this past week or so. But, that Pulitzer will go wanting, because mainstream media has no interest in digging into the truth behind Democratic politics: they have only Republicans (that is, those of the other party) in their sights.

P.S. Honestly, I'm not sure exactly what a crapweasel is. But I figure if Torricelli isn't one, then nobody has ever been one.

Update: I see no mention of The Crapweasel resigning the Senate in a late report at CNN:

.... "I will not be responsible for the loss of the Democratic majority in the United States Senate," he declared. He said he was asking attorneys to file papers with the U.S. Supreme Court to have his name removed from the ballot this fall....

But I have to say this: if an incumbent, or a challenger or any office seeker, can quit an election campaign because he's going to lose and then have somebody else take his place on the ballot, the entire electoral process is undermined and threatened. This is an outlandish, disgraceful, and (I don't use this word very often) un-American act. There's no question about it any more: the Democrats involved in national politics care for nothing but power. The democratic processes of the United States of America can crash and burn, apparently, as long as they are allowed to be at the helm.

Lane Core Jr. CIW P — Mon. 09/30/02 06:28:47 PM
Categorized as Classic.