Dear Stoopid Haitians

An open letter to the current boatload of Haitian "immigrants".

Re: More than 200 illegal Haitian migrants run ashore in Miami.

What the hell is wrong with you people? I don't know what about Haiti makes you want to risk your lives getting out of there. (Didn't William Jefferson Clinton fix what was wrong with your country?) Maybe you have plenty of good reasons. But why in the world is the United States of America the place in the world you want to go? Don't you know it's the rottenest place on the Earth?

Don't you know that the USA is run, now, by greedy, filthy-rich Republicans who are going to sacrifice millions of young lives in Iraq just for oil?

Don't you know that uncounted millions of Americans are homeless, jobless, healthcareless, struggling to live in squalor on minimum wage, while the greedy and filthy-rich (white Republicans) just keep on getting filthier and richer?

And don't you know that life here is dangerous for everybody because of the mindless obsession of so many people to something called the Second Amendment? Which means that evil, wicked firearms are responsible for uncounted deaths every year. And that in response to the recent Beltway Sniper incidents, in which right-wing white Christian fundamentalist patriots — well, I may have gotten some of these details wrong, since mainstream media is somewhat vague about them — right-wing white Christian fundamentalist patriots mercilessly shot and killed quite a diversity of Americans, and the suburbanites flocked to buy guns and apply for concealed-carry permits?

And don't you know, particularly, that the USA is a racist nation? And aren't you — most of you, anyway — aren't you African-Americans... er... aren't you African-Haitians? Don't you know that African-Americans everywhere (especially those in America) are the continuing, daily, hourly victims of slavery, Jim Crow, prejudice, discrimination, and bias? Their lives are miserable misery, every hour of every day, entirely because of the sins, faults, misdeeds, crimes, misdemeanors, and felonies of European-Americans — the chief of which is being white instead of black African-American.

In other words, don't you read The New York Times, and The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and The Fort Worth Star-Telegram? Don't you watch Dan and Tom and Peter? Don't you listen to Bill & Hillary Clinton, and Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton, and Rosie O'Donnell & Barbra Streisand?

You don't have to take my word for it. Just ask them. If you can get past their armed bodyguards and into their million-dollar palatial mansions. Or get past their armed bodyguards to interrupt their $50 lunch or $250 dinner at this month's toniest restaurant. Just ask them. They'll pretend they like you, care about you, and even feel your pain. (As a bonus, if you are a cute woman, Hillary Bill Clinton may offer to feel your something else.) And they'll tell you: America is hell. Especially for people like you: poor and African-American... er... African-Haitian... er... African-Haitian-American. Then, let Bill or Hillary or Jesse or Al or Rosie or Barbra get back to their seven-course, prime-rib meal, over which they will be roundly denouncing evil, rich, (white, Republican) Americans.

So, stoopid Haitian "immigrants": why is it you want to come here, instead of going to Cuba? Get out of here, while you can!

Lane Core Jr. CIW P — Wed. 10/30/02 07:28:32 AM
Categorized as Social/Cultural.