"The Gang That Won't Shoot Straight" and "The Fool and the Traitor"
Our favorite Screaming Eagle Poet is on a roll.
Russ Vaughn is sending the poems faster than we can put them up. But, of course, we bloggers love it when our readers provide such ready content. :-)
The Gang That Won't Shoot Straight
It began when ol' Dubya gave Al Gore the boot,
Those gun-hating Dems really started to shoot.
Their weapons of choice though leave much to desire
For they're usually off-target and so often misfire.
In his blustering barrages, as everyone knows,
Al Gore is most likely to blow off his own nose.
And in hitting his targets, Teddy's chances are slimmer
He's no better at bombast than he was as a swimmer.
John Kerry took aim at Bush's war in Iraq
But salvoes from Swiftees left him smoking black.
Daschle went to Dakota with all barrels loaded;
When the smoke finally cleared, he had clearly imploded.
They were gunning for George, but without enough practice
And ended up full of holes, their butts full of cactus.
That dimwitted cowboy turned out muy mal
Blew the Libs clean away at their O.K. Corral
Howard Dean, more than most, embodies the phrase,
"Shoot yourself in the foot," yet may see better days.
If DNC chiefs decide the Party needs Deaning,
Shooting yourself in the foot will have Party-wide meaning.
Senator Boxer shot holes in her own reputation,
Taking potshots at Condi before the whole nation.
We can't wait for the chance to see Nancy Pelosi,
Take aim at ol' George: "BAM!" there goes her toesy.
We'll not tolerate lying, fumes Senator Dayton,
A lightweight compared to the lady he's baitin.'
But he shoots from the lip and quite clearly he misses,
While eighty-five colleagues hand out Condi kisses.
This "Gang that won't shoot straight," is really no puzzle,
Did you ever see a Lib knew his butt from his muzzle?
Have you fathomed the lesson that runs through this poem?
All guns should have locks if there are Libs in the home.
The Fool and the Traitor
One came to us sooner, the other came later,
The first is a Fool the second's a Traitor.
The Fool showed his colors in dark murky waters
Giving fathers good cause to lock up their daughters.
Stern Teddy decries we've no plan to get out,
Invoking his own, an unbridled rout.
To him exit strategy has but one purpose,
Get the door open and swim to the surface.
The Traitor, well folks, that's more complicated,
His history's distorted, war records inflated.
He's a hero he claims but his buddies say no,
Leaving him as a hero with no place to go.
When our country was bleeding, he bled us with leeches,
Giving false testimony, which history impeaches.
Then somehow expected that we'd all forget,
And elect him commander, oh sure, John, you bet.
Getting back to the Fool, do we heed this old boozer,
Who constantly tells us that we are a loser?
When facts tell us different, tell us we are a winner,
Despite the nay says of this blowhard 'aginner.
We're on the right side, we're fightin' for freedom,
And those who oppose us, well, we're gonna bleed 'em.
The jihadists we fight end in bloody repose;
And the Fool and the Traitor with a bad bloody nose.
2d Bn, 327th Parachute Infantry Regiment
101st Airborne Division
See also these.
Lane Core Jr. CIW P Mon. 01/31/05 08:40:17 PM
Categorized as Literary & Political & Social/Cultural.