The Dopeler Effect and 31 Other Neologisms

Via Donald Luskin.

For a change of pace.

NEOLOGISMS

Coffee (n.); a person who is coughed upon.

Flabbergasted (adj.); appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.); to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v.); to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj.); impotent.

Negligent (adj.); describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.); to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.); an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.); the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.); a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.); a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n.); the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

Oyster (n.); a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Pokemon (n); A Jamaican proctologist.

Frisbeetarianism (n.); The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n.); the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

16 NEOLOGISMS

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a--hole.

A study of the Dopeler Effect on the Bozone Internet could, I think, take up volumes.

Lane Core Jr. CIW P — Wed. 02/02/05 06:17:18 PM
Categorized as Other.

Mere Rhetoric

Vide.

Lane Core Jr. CIW P — Wed. 02/02/05 05:49:02 PM
Categorized as Blogosphere Stuff.

Counting on Catastrophe II

The current (Feb. 7) cover of Newsweek.

The foible of an early deadline.

See also The Faces of the Democratic Party 2005-2006? and Counting on Catastrophe.

P.S. And see also The Media's War On Our Troops.

Lane Core Jr. CIW P — Wed. 02/02/05 05:39:48 PM
Categorized as Media & Photos & Political.

Andrew Sullivan Dissected

Who would have thought that anybody would have the stomach to do this?

Justin Katz has blogged his entire article on Andrew Sullivan.

Here is my own opinion about Sullivan:

Sullivan (and Dick Morris, too, I’ve noticed lately) lets his feeling lead the way: whatever he happens to feel at a given time is paramount, causing him to muster whatever evidence and arguments he can to support the feeling of the month. He has quite the right to do so, of course; but one must recognize that’s what is going on. And, since feelings come and go, one mustn’t expect very much consistency. I think this tendency is even more pronounced in Morris, who doesn’t have “the polestar” (hat tip Mark Shea) of one overriding feeling to keep him steady.

And here it is again:

I notice a similarity (perhaps the only one) between Sullivan and Dick Morris: though each can be the master of a very good argument, both are really led by their emotions. Each will construct an elaborate edifice of fact and reason which, upon careful examination, quite contradicts another of his own elaborate constructs of fact and reason. Why? Because each is merely using facts and reason to justify a position, more-or-less permanent or temporary, to which his emotion has lead him.

But Justin 'splains that much better than I do. :-)

Lane Core Jr. CIW P — Wed. 02/02/05 07:53:40 AM
Categorized as Social/Cultural.

"A Loss of Something Ever Felt I"

Random Poetry List VII

A loss of something ever felt I—
The first that I could recollect
Bereft I was—of what I knew not
Too young that any should suspect

A Mourner walked among the children
I notwithstanding went about
As one bemoaning a Dominion
Itself the only Prince cast out—

Elder, Today, a session wiser
And fainter, too, as Wiseness is—
I find myself still softly searching
For my Delinquent Palaces—

And a Suspicion, like a Finger
Touches my Forehead now and then
That I am looking oppositely
For the site of the Kingdom of Heaven—

Emily Dickinson (American, 1830-1886)

Originally e-mailed on Wednesday, February 02, 2000 @ 5:08 PM.

Lane Core Jr. CIW P — Wed. 02/02/05 07:21:03 AM
Categorized as Literary & Random Poetry List.